Hello.
So, when someone criticized your know-it-all attitude, though you never meant to portray such behavior, and at the same time , literally, you get this very peculiar pain at the throat, you know that you need to start thinking about your Karma.
Let me debrief. I have been having difficulty in swallowing for about a year now. I did not give any conscious concern about it until, for the past one week, I started to have an unusual kind of sore throat. The sore is actually sort of localized at the very deep part of my tongue, in a the small space between the tongue and the right side of my throat. Being medical students, there is one thing we really love to do. To diagnose ourselves. So, don't blame me when I bring all the recent comments about me, that I look like a skinny, skeleton-like anorexic creature into this picture. Let me compile now. Difficulty in swallowing plus painful swallowing plus loss of weight. Oh shit, have I got some dreadful cancer at the back of my throat? Always diagnose the worst.
I have been trying to write this in a jolly way. But, the real thing is, I am freaking out now. I am a scientific person, but I happened to be Jungian personality of someone who blames herself for every catastrophe in this world. So, as illogical and trivial the following would sound like, I am still considering to consider it. Is God trying to tell me that I should shut up?
Man, this is such a terrible situation. So let's say that my delusional diagnosis is correct after all. What would happen to me? How appa will be? Amma? How would Bharath react? Who is going to pay for my surgery? What happens if they need to chop my tongue? Will Yog still be with me? Midiel is going to grieve. Will I manage to graduate? Shit, if there is recurrence? What if I am already in 4th stage? Will I die?
Scary. Seriously.
Randoms:
1. Days are not so happy anymore. It's distressing to think of it.
2. Life is with goal now. I wake up every morning looking forward to Psychiatry.
3. I saw appa laughing happily yesterday. I recall that whenever I am upset. That makes me feel better.
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